On my 8th day in the hospital, I was finally released. At this point, it was 2 days after our vacation was suppose to begin. We were suppose to travel to New England so our families could meet our daughter for the first time. After discussing this with my doctor, we still went. We were out of the hospital by 9am. We then went to the store to get my prescription filled. Then we went home so I could finally take a shower. (8 days without an actual shower and just "washing up" at a sink makes a person feel really nasty). At this point, I was starting to feel tired. The one major side effect was that I got/get easily fatigued. While I was in the shower, my husband threw clothes together for all 3 of us and loaded the car. We then took off for the 10 1/2 hour drive to Massachusetts.
People called us crazy for doing this but we knew we needed to go. It was also helpful since we have no family that live near us. This provided other people help me take care of baby. It also relived some stress off of my husband since he now had to take care of 2 of us. While we were there we went to visit my husband's grandmother in the nursing home. We got a great picture of her with my husband, father-in-law (his mother), and baby. This is the only time she got to meet her great granddaughter. She passed that year right after Christmas. We also took the 6 hour trip up to Maine to visit my grandmother. My mother and her husband were there too. We got a picture with me, my mom, my grandmother, and baby. This was the only time my grandmother got to meet baby she passed the day after Thanksgiving in 2011.
Here is the big thing that changed right after my stroke. My stroke was on July 3, 2010 and I started nursing school August 17, 2010. Now I am easily fatigued and my memory has greatly suffered. I have a memory but trying to remember things short term is difficult and take me longer than the average person. I am not getting A's but I am mainly passing. I try really hard and there are days I know I am meant to be in school. There are also days when I am really trying to figure out what on earth I got myself into. Some days I don't feel like I belong.
I study hard and read and then I read some more. I now my friends get annoyed with me asking so many questions but I try. I try to understand and some people just give me the "you are an idiot" look. Every class has their "genius", clown, failures (they are pretty much gone since it has been 3 years) but I am the not-brilliant-and-tries-really-hard- but-it-doesn't-seem-to-help student.
This is my way of getting it all out. I need to tell my story of what has happened to me. Most people do not understand what it feels like to desperately try and still do miserable.
One of the major struggles me and my family have had is the financial aspect. Hospital bills are still outstanding. We have been trying to pay them off. We hope to with our tax refund this year. It was really difficult for us since we did not have health insurance at the time. We ended up on food stamps since my husband lost his job Sept.1st right after my stroke. I could not work as much since I got fatigued and my coworkers were terrified to work with me. They thought I would collapse at any moment. I was out of work for a month right after my stroke. All of our bills were behind and we tried so hard to get them caught up. We eventually did but we still have rough months (like anyone). I started couponing to get extra "supplies" (hygiene products, paper products, food, etc.). We just started buying soap again. I tried to get a 3 year stock pile so we didn't have to worry about it while I was in school.
Right now, we have to some how save money to get enough to pay for a class I have to make up. With my hours slow (I work in a restaurant and Christmas does not bring us extra hours), we have been paying everything up and trying to get extra groceries in the house. We recently (tonight) shut off our satellite TV and went to streaming ($55 down to $8).
Maybe tomorrow I will tell you what happened to my husband during all of this. It make our story even more interesting :)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
Finding Out
When the doctor told me I had, had a "mini" stroke I just sat there and kept nodding my head. I heard the words and understood them. They seemed to "go in one ear and out the other." The words didn't sink in. I mean how on earth does a 27 year old with NO potential causes have a stroke of any kind. It has taken me a very long time to actually come to terms with having a stroke. By the end of the day, I had seen a total of 3 different doctors (Cardiologist, Neurologist, and my primary care). They determined that I had postpartum cardiomyopathy. Essentially when I was pregnant, I had high blood pressure and it caused my heart to not pump effectively. Because of that, I developed a blood clot at my heart. The doctor explained it that it was like a rock in a river where the rock gets stuck and keeps rolling around until it breaks free. It unfortunately broke free and went to my brain.
Not until about a year later did I realize the impact it actually had on my heart. The doctor was worried about my heart and had me do a stress test. This test show that my EF was 5-15%. This of course made little sense. I soon learned that meant that that is how much my heart was actually pumping. This is very bad!
After the doctors finally determined the cause, they started me on all kinds of medications. They started me on a blood thinner to prevent future clots. They also wanted me on two heart pills to help strengthen my heart. A side effect of heart pills is they lower blood pressure. I had "normal" blood pressure so giving me two medications that lower it made my blood pressure drop to 60 over 40. This, of course, was not what the doctor intended. I still remember lying in the bed and the nurse asking me how I was feeling. At this point, I told her I felt fine just really tired. I could barely keep my eyes open and kept smiling and nodding. After that, they were only giving me one of the two. I stayed in the hospital 8 days.
By the 3rd day in the hospital, my speech had gone back to normal. By the end of the first day, I could feel my right side again. Over the 8 days, I saw speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, and a few more. I had to walk up and down the stairs and hallway, do simple math problems, sit up by myself, and a bunch of random things. I knew they were making sure everything was back to working order. I just got so tired so quickly that I wanted them to leave me alone. My hospital stay was uneventful. There were no painful procedures, multiple xrays, or anything. The worst thing that happened was I had blood drawn daily.
My doctors and nurses were great. I was well taken care of. I have no complaints with the staff at all.
Not until about a year later did I realize the impact it actually had on my heart. The doctor was worried about my heart and had me do a stress test. This test show that my EF was 5-15%. This of course made little sense. I soon learned that meant that that is how much my heart was actually pumping. This is very bad!
After the doctors finally determined the cause, they started me on all kinds of medications. They started me on a blood thinner to prevent future clots. They also wanted me on two heart pills to help strengthen my heart. A side effect of heart pills is they lower blood pressure. I had "normal" blood pressure so giving me two medications that lower it made my blood pressure drop to 60 over 40. This, of course, was not what the doctor intended. I still remember lying in the bed and the nurse asking me how I was feeling. At this point, I told her I felt fine just really tired. I could barely keep my eyes open and kept smiling and nodding. After that, they were only giving me one of the two. I stayed in the hospital 8 days.
By the 3rd day in the hospital, my speech had gone back to normal. By the end of the first day, I could feel my right side again. Over the 8 days, I saw speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, and a few more. I had to walk up and down the stairs and hallway, do simple math problems, sit up by myself, and a bunch of random things. I knew they were making sure everything was back to working order. I just got so tired so quickly that I wanted them to leave me alone. My hospital stay was uneventful. There were no painful procedures, multiple xrays, or anything. The worst thing that happened was I had blood drawn daily.
My doctors and nurses were great. I was well taken care of. I have no complaints with the staff at all.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I had my "mini" stroke 2 1/2 years ago. More specifically it was July 3, 2010. I was 27. Even during my stroke, I knew what my symptoms were and what they were suggesting, however I thought it was crazy. I had a toothache the day before and it didn't occur to me there might be a problem. The day of I was getting ready for work and just put orajel in my mouth where the tooth hurt. I came out into the living room and started to feel weird. It was sort of like being dizzy and light headed but not. This was the start of my stroke. I got my stuff together and went to the car. I tried to get into the car. I have a remote for the car but was trying to use a key. I still don't know which key I actually used. I could not hold the key and kept dropping it. At this point, my mind could not associate the feeling (or lack there of) with numb. My husband didn't realize what was going on and used the remote to unlock the car for me. My head was really "foggy" and dizzy/light headed. I got in the car, got the key in the ignition and started, and got the car into gear. I drove around the corner to the landlord's office and dropped off the rent check. At this point I knew I could not go to work.
When I got back to the house, my husband came out to find out what was going on. I couldn't talk to him. Even before I opened my mouth I knew I couldn't talk. These are surreal moments that just didn't make sense to me now that I look back. My husband thought I used too my orajel so he was laughing at me. Then I somehow get out that my right side is numb. As time sensitive as the situation was, he remained calm. He put me in his car and drove straight to the hospital. We look back and laugh about it now but the whole way I kept insisting he just take me to work. To him, I sounded drunk. To me, I sounded like a person who has a hearing issues.
I missed a key element in all of this. I had a baby girl who was 7 months old during all of this. We have amazing friends who came to the ER to take care of her while they were checking me out. The process for them to get me into the back still makes me laugh. We get to the ER and it was EMPTY. We handed Baby off to our friends and proceeded up to the counter/booth. Then the usual, name, date of birth, why are you here. With my strange speech, I told them I had numbness in my right side and I felt really weird. The first person continued to take my information and get my stuff done ( medical armband, vital signs, etc.) the other person picked up the phone and called the back. At this point, I was laughing like I was actually drunk. The conversation on the phone went something like this. "I have 27 yo female with numbness on her right side" The whole time she was looking at me and trying to smile. It reminded me of when your parents are talking about a really sick relative and don't want to scare a young child.
At this point, the first person comes out of the booth/desk area and tells me to sit in the wheelchair. He ran me to the back. After people coming in and checking vital signs and repeating over and over what my symptoms were. My CAT scan came back clear. The doctor consulted with others and then decided to admit me. Her reasoning was I needed an MRI but since it was a holiday weekend I couldn't get one until Tuesday and it was currently Saturday. So upstairs we went for the night. At 8am, they came to do an ECHO of my heart and at 9am I went down for my MRI. MRI's are terrible but useful. I am not generally claustrophobic but this machine will do that to a person. As they wheeled me out of the room, my doctor was waiting for me to give me the final news that it was for sure a stroke.
This was some really heavy news.
When I got back to the house, my husband came out to find out what was going on. I couldn't talk to him. Even before I opened my mouth I knew I couldn't talk. These are surreal moments that just didn't make sense to me now that I look back. My husband thought I used too my orajel so he was laughing at me. Then I somehow get out that my right side is numb. As time sensitive as the situation was, he remained calm. He put me in his car and drove straight to the hospital. We look back and laugh about it now but the whole way I kept insisting he just take me to work. To him, I sounded drunk. To me, I sounded like a person who has a hearing issues.
I missed a key element in all of this. I had a baby girl who was 7 months old during all of this. We have amazing friends who came to the ER to take care of her while they were checking me out. The process for them to get me into the back still makes me laugh. We get to the ER and it was EMPTY. We handed Baby off to our friends and proceeded up to the counter/booth. Then the usual, name, date of birth, why are you here. With my strange speech, I told them I had numbness in my right side and I felt really weird. The first person continued to take my information and get my stuff done ( medical armband, vital signs, etc.) the other person picked up the phone and called the back. At this point, I was laughing like I was actually drunk. The conversation on the phone went something like this. "I have 27 yo female with numbness on her right side" The whole time she was looking at me and trying to smile. It reminded me of when your parents are talking about a really sick relative and don't want to scare a young child.
At this point, the first person comes out of the booth/desk area and tells me to sit in the wheelchair. He ran me to the back. After people coming in and checking vital signs and repeating over and over what my symptoms were. My CAT scan came back clear. The doctor consulted with others and then decided to admit me. Her reasoning was I needed an MRI but since it was a holiday weekend I couldn't get one until Tuesday and it was currently Saturday. So upstairs we went for the night. At 8am, they came to do an ECHO of my heart and at 9am I went down for my MRI. MRI's are terrible but useful. I am not generally claustrophobic but this machine will do that to a person. As they wheeled me out of the room, my doctor was waiting for me to give me the final news that it was for sure a stroke.
This was some really heavy news.
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